the future

As i've noticed the past years i've grown so much, learned so little, haven't been around much, i'm still willing to stick around for much more years to come and see the world. I see more and more that i've changed so much, I grow up so much that i'm actually questioning myself "where will i be in 5 years from now?" and i'm actually trying to make a future for myself. Which is so shocking for most people that know me, and they still seem to not believe me when i say things like this or speak my head on life but HEY they just gotta get used to CHANGE. Life is always about changing, and changing for the better. Life comes and goes, and i shouldn't be wasting my time just fooling around and messing up all the time. I actually wanna make something of myself and not just acting a fool and playing childish games. I want a better life than what has become of it now, but i'm still young and i'm doing ALOT of things on my own that pretty much everybody would be surprised. When some people ask me what i'm doing and i reply i'm reading that's a totally shocker. Why can't everybody see that i like read, i may not like to read NORMAL books but if it gets me going i'll read it. But then again if it bores me i just stop reading it haha.

Why can't everybody see that i'm doing these things for myself?
I just don't want to start a new life, fucked up. I can't be a kid all my life, well at least at the right time that is. We all need to grow up sometime in our life, and finally realize that the world doesn't have time for childish games. Thats what you have friends for. What would we all do without friends huh? Well actually just the TRUE ones. I hate fake bitches who PRETEND to be your firend and then talk behind your back. Its just sicking how some people can do that, i could never though i'm not that kind of person. I'm REAL.

tragedies

I was just hoping that there was an ounce of happiness left in that child i used to see in mirror, but that child is gone and grew up too fast to enjoy her short childhood. Regrets is just one thing that effects my day by day life, krama is another but trauma is the biggest thing holding me back from doing the unthinkable. Tragedy surrounds me all the time, my emotions get in the way of me doing what i should do most times, I'm emotionally unstable at times to deal with of everyday tragedy but i depend on my friends and myself to keep me together. Don't you love me? I have no idea what i'm talking about, just random thoughts in my head at 4 in the morning.

rich and the famous

I never seem to understand how some people can think that they can conrol everything and everyone just because they think they're all that when they're really just cruel, cold hearted bitches that want peoples attetention. They shouldn't think that acting the way they do, will bring good of it because just one day someone will put them in their place. kramas a bitch. And i'd think twice before acting like a bitch toward people you dont know and even the ones you know because just some day they'll put you in your place, bitch!

What a world

This is what staying up at four in the morning does to you, i was just listening to music and had just finished a great book. I've noticed as you grow older you tend to see that the world is cruel and could care less about you if you're not rich or famous. And you're standing alone of it all trying to live your life, just hoping, praying for a break but life never does. Thats just life. But when 'the end of days' happens all that bullshit about being rich and famous goes out the window, don't it? Or does that still apply, no matter whats going on with the world?

in the end

Everything happens for a reason, it may seem like you're doing the wrong thing at that moment but if you give it time you'll see it just might've been the right thing in the end.

Never regret the things you do because at some point you knew it was something you needed to do. Life isn't about regrets, its about the things you need to do to keep on living.

I've learned that the hard way, I don't regret anything I've done after I've seen how fake people can be. I just don't understand how people can talk behind people's backs and say their your friend when a TRUE friend would never do that. If you have a problem with someone say it to they're face and stop pretrending you're their friend when you're not. Because in the end you'll see that "krama is a bitch" and it will bite you in the ass someday.