bi sexual

Yes, i am bi sexual.


I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Well i know that it is wrong in god's eyes but i can't help how i feel, inside. I've been hiding this for years and only now i've fnally bring it to everybody's attention. Even though most of the people that know me don't believe that i truely am this way. They just say that they don't see me that WAY. I mean what do i need to do to prove that i'm what i say i am? I've had a few REAL girlfriends in my time, just hid it cause i just didn't know how everybody would take it. I know my GUY friends don't give a shit that i'm bi but that's because they're GUYS! I just didn't want my girl friends to think that i'm just another bi sexual chick who wants to fuck every girl or guy i see. I'm not like that. If you're straight, then you're straight. But if you're NOT one of my friends, close friends and you're confused about what you want i could help with that, honey. haha. I just wish everybody would take me seriously with how i feel. I just don't how they don't take my feelings seriously, i'm not confused about how i feel, i'm joking about how a hot chick turns me on i'm BI SEXUAL!! What don't you people see? I love girls more than i like guys. Thats there is to it.

For what i've become.

Its hard to imagine me having a NORMAL happy childhood isn't it? Well up until the whole parents splitting up bullshit everything before that i was normally a happy GOOD little girl. Those were the days. Now its hard to wash away the tears of shame but whats harder is trying to burn the memories that fill my head. Avoiding the people i love so they don't have to see me this way. When i do try to see them, hoping that they don't see right through me and my fake smiles and laughs, trying so hard not to ruin the happy time spent with me. I just want them to be happy and see me happy because whenever they see me they always see me for what i am. They hate seeing and hearing me that way. Suicidal. Suicidal thoughts get the best of me, and i don't want to ruin it all for them. The only thing i can do is pretend to be happy in their presences and give them the image that they once used to see before i became this way. I hate what i've become, and i trying to change for the better. Nobody can ever put me down more than my own self. When i look in the mirror, i don't know who i see anymore. An unfamiliar face staring at me with hateful eyes, hating all that it sees in front of her, not seeing the tears falling in fear of how much damage she could do towards herself and towards her loved ones. All she ever thinks about is her love ones and how they'd feel if they ever see if this end badly. I hate what i've become. Disturbed. Is the only word to call it.